FRIENDS (the TV series) and thoughts this Christmas season

its early morning of the 27th, 2 days after Christmas, when i just finished watching a particular episode of FRIENDS and i was outside of the house smoking. i was still smiling recalling the episode i just watched (season 4 episode 11) when somehow i got to relate to everything about that show.

like rachel, monica, phoebe, joey, chandler, and ross, i was a part of a circle of friends. like them, i cherished being friends with these people.... my friends at work!

i remember around 2+ years ago when erick and i talked about the recent night-outs with friends from work that usually happened when some (or sometimes all) of us are still in shifts. we were both a bit concerned during that time that word might come out that we are going out for several beers even while on shift and it could bring trouble to us. we agreed that we should only go out with people we can trust so that this kind of things would remain as it is.... a secret between friends.

then erick had this idea: why not agree on who are these people we can trust. and its not
really as simple as that... we had to both agree 100% that we can trust such a person. if one of us couldn't trust one person 100%, we just wouldn't invite them when we decide to go out when we are on shift.

that basically did it and after that discussion, we had a group of people we both agreed we could trust. thus became the group which frequented bonfire even during working hours.

throughout the years, that group has become bigger and soon enough, gathering for a round of beers while on work hours became seeing movies together, going to yearly summer outings, celebrating each and everyone's birthdays, and even doing separate gatherings in each other's homes.

ok, so some others has since left the company for better career opportunities. someone else is actually due to leave in a couple of days. but the fact remains is that if there is an opportunity to get together again, these same people will also be invited. the way i see it, being friends is not limited to being together in one company. being friends is not contained in any boundaries.

so during this Christmas season, i realized how thankful i was being part with such a group of friends. sure we may have issues with one another sometimes, or some we may not be able to see every single working day, or even sometimes, some may not be able to join us on gatherings because they might have plans with their other (or new) friends. but as everyone is reflective and thankful for all their blessings, i am with my own.

i am thankful to have such friends! thank you guys! Merry Christmas and let's all drink to our
friendship (not now ofcourse, when we are all together on the 30th) !

basketball diaries (part 4, championship game against state)

1 june, championship game against state, our most hated rivals.

just a bit of history: both the state team and our team belong to the same phase (4) in our village. their's has always been a basketball hotbed, continuously turning up good basketball players. they live and breathe basketball is what others always say. while on our end, we produce good players also, but in trickles as compared to them.

it was a rivalry that spanned 2 decades already (maybe more). we just hated each other. but the problem is they always got our number. they were virtually unbeatable but every game with us is close and although we would sometimes beat them, they would eventually win the tournament we were both in, either with us or other teams as their championship victim.

its a rivalry that reminds us of ateneo - lasalle, crispa - toyota, duke - unc, or lakers - celtics.

during the eliminations, their team was the only one who beat us with them missing 2 players from their starting line-up. we lost by a measly 3 points. however, we beat the only team that beat them. three teams were tied at the end of the elims (us, them, and the other team), we got the number 1 seed while they got the 3rd seed. they got their revenge on their elimination's tormentor while we beat the in-tech team of phase 6. we are due to meet on the finals... again.

the game started with them parading their very best 5 players. we countered with our usual starting 5. they one the jumpball and immediately scored on us. 2-0.

on our initial possession, they showed us what they are also noted for, their vaunted pressure, ball-hawking, extended zone defense. we swung the ball from side to side until it found its way on the left base line corner, to me. i had a bit of an oppening and shot a jumper,... swish! 2 all!

there was a few more scoring exchanges until we tightened up our defense. we had a bit of lead but then our starting center got his second foul and had to be substituted. i assumed the center position for defense and sacrificed my body defending every drive to the basket they were intent on pursuing.

we held on to the lead until our leading scorer erupted with 3 straight 3 pointers, each one one step longer than the previous. by the middle of the 2nd quarter we were leading by 10 points.

then came the turning point, the state team got a whole lot physical. there was a whole lot of elbows flailing, pushes on the lower back while jockeying for positions inside, discreet shoving and holdings. the sad part is that the referees are allowing all these.

i picked up my 2nd foul on a phantom call by one of the referees but i signalled my coach that i'll be ok. i don't want to be replaced yet and i knew i could still hold my own on defense without fouling.

they crept a bit on our lead (down to 6) until on one of their offensive possessions, i anticipated a spin move of their center and held my ground. after his spin move, he hit me on the face with his forearm, the whistle blew and i was anticipating a charging call. alas, it was a blocking call and im down to my 3rd foul! my coach was stomping his foot in the sidelines in frustration but we couldn't do anything. he called for a time-out and he replaced me with one of my teammates so that i could not pick another foul, imagined or not.

it was just around 3 minutes before halftime and i was on the bench, with our starting center, and we were both helpless watching our substitutes being abused inside by the big, bad state team. our lead was done to a single basket before halftime until our leading scorer scored on a pull-up jumper just before the buzzer to stretch our lead to 4.

during the 2nd half, my coach told me im sitting it out further to conserve my fouls. our center was back in but just a couple of minutes in, he picked up his 3rd foul and had to be replaced again.

the physicality of the state team was even more evident, no doubt getting bolder as the referees are letting it go. it came to a point when their top guy (the eventual mvp) drove to the basket planted an elbow flush to the nose of our power forward who was contesting his layup attempt. the shot went in and a foul was called on our teammate! he got elbowed, his nose bloodied, and he was called for the foul!

that set off our coach. he was cursing on the sidelines and threathening to walk-out of the game. i calmed him a bit and convinced him to just substitute me in for our power forward. afterwards, we lost our composure and our opponents razed our halftime lead and was up by 5. we called time-out.

our coach was still cursing, asking the team to just walk-out of the game. the referee heard him and called the attention of the committee. the committee called an official's time-out and talked to both coaches. we still could hear our coach screaming and cursing until he just stormed right out of the gym, leaving us players still on the bench.

we were in shock but we didn't follow him out. the committee approached us and prevailed upon us to continue the game still. they said that getting hurt is part of basketball but i countered by saying if the games get too physical, it should be up to the referees to control it, lest it gets out of hand (which coincidentally is already happening). the committee promised to talk to the referees about it just so we could continue the game.

we were caught in a quandary though. our coach (who is also our manager) already walked out and it would be a great disrespect to him if we continued to play. however, all of us wanted to finish this game. we all knew we could still win this game.

we told the committee to give us a few more minutes to talk to our coach who is already out of the gym and on his car (waiting for us). we talked to him but he was still furious and wanted us not to play anymore. when we pushed further, he shouted: "kung gusto nyo maglaro at masaktan pa ulit, bahala na kayo!" with that, he slammed the car door on us and drove off.

we then knew what to do. we couldn't play anymore even though we wanted to. our coach has done a whole lot for us and for our community and it would be greatly disrespectful of us if we still insisted on playing. after all, he was just concerned for our safety.

we talked as a team again and agreed just to go back to the gym, forfeit the game officially, and shake the hands of our opponents.

as we walked back to the gym, there was a lot of murmur and anticipation on what will happen next. the committee met us at center court and we told them of our decision. they respected our decision. we then turned around and went to the bench of our most hated rivals and shook their hands, congratulating them. they too was sad that the game had to end like this. after all, who would want to win a championship game via forfeiture?

the committee prevailed upon us to stay for the awarding ceremonies for us to get our 1st runner-up trophy. we didn't want to but as a sign of respect, we did. the committee didn't announce us as the 1st runner-up and instead just gave us the trophy after the ceremonies.

as we went back to our cars outside the gym holding the hollow trophy, we were approached by a whole lot of people who sympatised with us. they also knew we could still beat the state team. we acknowledged them but just went on our way back to our area.

each one of us then went to the house of our coach. we all shook his hand and hugged him. it was the ultimate sign of respect for the team to forego a chance to win a championship just to take the side of our coach.

we lost the championship ugly, via forfeiture. but we gained the respect not only of the other basketball afficionados who watched the game, not only by the state team who acknowledged that theirs was a hollow victory, but moreso by the coach who was much more than that to everyone of us.

we lost, but in everyone's eyes, we were champions!

basketball diaries (part 3, semis game against in-tech)

31 may, semifinals, we are matched up against the number 4 team, in-tech, whom we already beat once during the eliminations:

the atmosphere is electric. the in-tech team from phase 6 has always had a big following but this time around word leaked out that almost all of the basketball loving people from that area will be watching the game and will be cheering their team. we countered with a rather sizeable crowd behind us also, mostly the basketball-playing guys from our area.

the game started with one noticeable guy being part of our opponent's starting line-up. this guy was not on the line-up when we beat this team during the eliminations. we immediately thought this was one guy that might be their surprise package!

on their first possession, it was made clear... he asked for the ball and immediately drove to the heart of our defense. its a good thing our defense has made strides in improvement during the tournament and we were able to not let him score. several more successive times during the 1st quarter, he demanded the ball and tried to make his move. we stopped him from scoring until one putback from an offensive rebound saw him score his first points.

that got him on his groove and he would continue on to score more until the first half ended. we were leading but not by much.

during halftime, a teammate told me he now recalled who this surprise package is. he was a player for the inter-barangay in Cainta. although several years removed from being such, he is still productive as a player and has the basketball acumen of a player who has been through wars.

the 3rd quarter started and we started to make our moves. our leading scorer (and shooting guard) and our point-guard started their lethal fast breaks while our power forwards was ascerting himself inside. by the middle of the 4th quarter, we are leading by 15 and we are all jumping and cheering each other.

but the inevitable came and the surprise package started a run with a 3-point play opportunity that eventually razed our once mighty lead down to 1 with about 2 mins left. we let our guard down and was celebrating early that our opponents are now breathing down our necks.

the next possession was key as our opponent has currently an 8-0 run. then the defining moment for me in the tournament. as the defense loaded on one side where our leading scorer had the ball, he flung it back to our point guard in the middle, who immediately passed it to me in the left wing. with a bit of an opening, i dribbled once before shooting a jumper just beyond the foul-line. the opponent's center had to extend fully to try and block my shot and i had to release the ball a bit higher (my youngest brother, after the game, told me he saw me release the ball much like rasheed wallace's jumper) just to elude the block attempt.

it was a very long split-second as the ball traveled from my hands to the ring and when it swished through, the gym erupted in a roar as i, in a unexpected display of emotion, pumped my fist while running down back on defense.

that shot seemingly started the downfall of our opponent as their next possession was a hurried 3-point attempt (no doubt was meant to try and silence the crowd after the shot i made), several drives to the basket without setting up their offense first, and some silly fouls that led to free throws that we made when it mattered.

i had my fifth foul with less than 1 minute left and fouled-out. as i went to the bench, i was still upbeat as we knew then that this game was all over.

after the game, we were told by one of the committee members that a person from our opponent's team wanted to have a side bet on the game, pretty much sure that they will win it. we just smiled and said its a good thing they didn't go through with it as not only could they have lost the game, they would have lost money also! hahaha.

we are in the finals! our opponent is the defending champions. their team has been champions except for one time wherein a team that includes 3 NCAA players from san beda beat them on a close game even.

they are the champions and our most hated rivals... lots of history on the line!

basketball diaries (part 2, game against m-vic)

24 may, 7th game, last game of the eliminations against 1 of 3 teams already eliminated:

our opponents only suited up 8 players. we only fielded in 6. perhaps there was indication that we are taking this team lightly as several of our key players opted to miss this game for some other things they had to do.

early on, we marched into a double-digit lead but complacency sets in as the halftime ends with us leading by only single digits.

we started to assert ourselves starting the 3rd quarter. after a 1st half that had me score just 4 points (on a follow-up tap and a long jumper), i started to crash the boards and as much as possible, score inside.

by the end of the game, we had a lead of double-digits (16) and i scored 16 points including 6 out of 6 from the free-throw line.

we talked about the upcoming semifinal games for the next weekend and we were told that we are going to be the number 1 seed coming in hence will be meeting the number 4 seed on the cross-over semifinals. i reminded the team that for the semifinal showdown, we should be focused and not go through stretches wherein we are just relaxing and letting our guard down. if our past 3 opponents were able to cut in into our lead and eventually take the upperhand (even for just one possession), it would be an even more challenging game next time around as the winner will be in the finals.

basketball diaries (part 1, game against WCF)

18 May, 6th game, having secured a semifinal slot a game before, we were up against one of 3 teams who are already eliminated.

our team is playing loose while our opponent is playing seriously, a recipe for an upset. leading all the way up until the 4th quarter, our opponent goes on a run that cuts our lead from 9 down to 1 with only less than 2 minutes left in the game.

our opponent's zone defense is a bit open since one of their guards up-front has decided to take our leading scorer one-on-one. the ball goes to our power forward on the left wing, our center tries to cut inside but did not receive the pass. however, that left an opening behind him that i immediately got to. i received the pass from our power forward and drained a foul-line jumper. lead up to 3.

next possession, our opponent misses a shot and we rebounded. again, one of their guards up-front has left the zone defense to take on our leading scorer. the other guard up-front checks our point guard as he crosses the mid-court line. a few dribbles inside our half-court, he throws a pass to me on the left-wing outside the 3-point area. i saw an opening since both opponent guards are out of the zone defense and made 2 quick dribbles before launching another foul-line jumper with our opponents center trying to catch up with his over-extended arm. the ball travels through the air and swishes through the net. our fans erupted with cheers and we were up by 5.

our opponent calls a time-out but right after misses another shot. the rest of the game then was an exercise of fouling (them) and making foul-shots (us). we won!

afterwards, a couple of teammates acknowledged that i essentially won the game for the team. i just smiled and told them our journey is still not over.

getting creative with movies

a lot of my friends are always on my back (good-natured ribbing) about the fact that i am not jumping into the getting-married bandwagon until now...

and somehow, they became more creative in terms relaying this point:

Fact 1 -- every girl I was involved with romantically after my failed engagement 3 years ago are all either married, engaged to be married, or has a child and about to get married. the eerie thing is that the guy they are going to marry is the next guy they got involved with after me.

What my friend Cocoy said -- watch the movie "good luck chuck" and i will like it.

Fact 2 -- by the end of this year, i will be the last man standing (i.e. only single guy in the barkada).

What my officemate said -- watch the movie "heartbreak kid" and i will find it appropriate.

.... and you know what, both movies hit home on some points...

just goes to show how concerned my friends are with something that i myself am not really concerned with.

... but i got a good laugh out of it though! hahaha!!!

last man standing

when bong got married last december 18, that left only 3 of us from our barkada that are still single. among the 3, we all knew darwin will get married this year leaving cecilio and myself as the only bachelors left from the group when this year ends.

as it is, there is an ongoing joke among us barkada that it would be cecilio who would be the last man to get married, even though he is already with his current girl for 7 years now. the reason, as the joke goes, is that he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend!

that seemed to be true until this last weekend when i was in a night out with cecilio and another bud of mine, albert. it was on this drinking session at fat johnny's in timog that he dropped the bomb on us: he is getting married this year and he plans on making it a simple one.

that leaves me, as the only one who will be single, when year 2008 ends. the last man standing!

i shouldn't be surprised though, because almost all of my barkada seems to think that i would be the last man to stand on the altar (no matter the joke pointed to cecilio and his ex-girlfriend). they are even quite happy to think about speeches each and everyone of them will make on my own wedding day. for them, it would be one of the best days they could share with me!

they all knew i was the only one who was after the non-committal thing with those girls i dated when all of them are either married or are with girlfriends who they are serious with. they all knew about the only girl i was engaged with (so far) and how it happened that when it ended, i decided the best way to get over with it is to play the field again.

they all knew that i was picky, that there is this distinct possibility that when the only time i wanted to get married may be the only time i would risk opening myself again to a girl.

they all knew and wanted that i find that one girl again who would brake down my walls and allow myself to risk everything again.

much as i should be happy that cecilio has made peace with himself, somehow got the courage to risk everything with his current girlfriend and the chance to take it to the next level, i was also sad that at the end of the day, all my friends are right: i am picky, and at the end of the day, i will always have this wall around me that somehow protects me from the possibility of getting hurt again.

this wall though is preventing me from risking everything for a chance of ever-after. it limits me from exploring possibilities with the girls i go out with. it makes me afraid to be hurt again.

but i know, on my own, that a big part of my problem today is not so much with the girls i am going out with. it has as much to do with the fact that i am still holding on to something that was not there for me in the first place.

i am holding on to a hope that will never materialize, a dream that will never come true, a love that can never be.

for as much as i feel, in my heart, that this would be the one that could break the wall, the feeling that would negate all the fears of getting hurt, the one thing that would make me want to risk everything for happiness,... its not for me.

and as long as i hold it and don't let go, it would be the bigger hindrance for my search for true happiness.

i will be the last man standing. but still, i need to let go.

the 26K girl and the maid-of-honor

when one of my best buds, bong, got married last december 18, i can't help but smile reminicsing the events that happened on that day itself and on the bachelor's party 3 days before that.

december 15 was the day we had the bachelor's party. it was nothing out-of-the-ordinary. it was just a night out on a bar in ortigas followed by several more hours on a strip joint (guy stuff, everybody understands that right??!).

while on the bar, amidst a rather small saturday night crowd, bong and i together with 2 of our other best buds and bong's nephew drank beer and danced to the music of the in-house band. however, in that small crowd, we chanced upon a group of girls having a good time of their own. before everybody else knew it, i was acting my best man duties ahead of the wedding itself by being bong's wing man in meeting these girls.

while bong fixed his attention to this one girl, i cozied myself up with one other girl who caught my eye as she was really tall and sexy. when i was next to her, i saw in-close that she was also good-looking. not the drop-dead gorgeous type but she had this eyes that i liked (read: chinita) and nice cheek bones that accentuated her smile. but boy was she really hot in that low-cut jeans she was wearing!

it turns out that it was her birthday that night and she was celebrating it with her friends. we had a good time chatting and dancing until i was reminded that we had to go the next place we planned on going to for bong to fully experience his bachelor's party. i said my goodbyes and just on impulse asked her if she wants to be my date on the upcoming wedding i had to attend. i was partly surprised when she said yes and told me to just be in touch about the place and time.

the day before the wedding, i talked to this girl again and somehow got hold of the fact that she was actually coming from abs-cbn during that time. when i probed further, she told me she was one of the 26K girls of the game show "deal or no deal"! man, i am going to the wedding of one of my best buds with a 26K girl!

but the next day, there was a glitch and she wanted me instead to pick her up at her place to go to bong's wedding. as i myself was running a bit late, i had to politely tell her i may not be able to do so and perhaps we could just meet up in the next coming days.

my sadness in not being with the 26K girl on the wedding was however eased out when i met the maid-of-honor. she was lia's (bong's wife) best friend from high school. if i was attracted to the 26K girl because of her body, i was attracted to the maid-of-honor because she was easily the most beautiful girl on that wedding (mind you there was also a girl who looked like ehra madrigal and another who was also a model-type). we surprisingly hit it off immediately and we were chatting up all throughout the ceremony. she held on to my arm while walking out of the church and exchanged smiles and laughs while throwing rose petals on bong and lia outside the church. she even asked if i wanted a ride with her to the reception (which i had to decline as i was waiting for another barkada who is arriving late).

in the reception, we chatted again until the formalities started. she was actually one of the hosts for the wedding reception program. it was on one of the formalities of a wedding reception that became the highlight of my day with the maid-of-honor.

i was up there in the podium (with her behind me) when i made the best man's toast and modesty aside, it was one of the most well received speeches i ever made. in fact, a lot of people (lia, bong's mom, bong's sis, and the old lady who was sitting with us on our table) took me aside and told me how touching my speech was.

and ofcourse, one of those people who was touched was the maid-of-honor. when i got down the podium to toast with bong and lia, she even made a toast with me first. with smiles on both our faces, we toasted with our own wine glasses before i finally reached bong and lia's table.

when the reception ended, i had one last talk with her. she again commented on how sweet and touching my speech was. we exchanged mobile numbers afterwards.

when i was about to say my goodbyes to bong and lia, lia casually reminded me that the maid-of-honor herself is getting married middle of 2008 (as if on-queue so that i won't get any ideas of being "friendly" with her).

but guess what, i was not bummed about it. i knew beforehand that she was already engaged to be married but still, we had a good time together!

and besides, i still have that date with the 26K girl ahead of me! hahaha!!

lemon law

one of my favorite new shows on tv is one from ETC titled "how i met your mother." it essentially is a story about a guy who, at the start of every episode, talks to his kids about his bachelor days and... how he met their mother! then the story shifts to the days when he is single and on the dating lifestyle he had.

there are other characters in the story, none funny than his bestfriend; a single doctor who is always chasing girls (you know him by the way as the person behind the hit sitcom from days back: doogie howser m.d.)!

this guy actually came up with something very funny. he termed it as the lemon law. the lemon law states: during the first 5 minutes of any date, you must decide whether you want to commit the rest of the night with a guy/girl. if you do not want to, then cut the date short; apply the lemon law!

quite funny really! just think how somebody would say to his/her date: i would have to apply the lemon law on you! sorry! hahaha!

its just sad that we can't apply this in our society here in manila. we filipinos are too much of a nice guy/girl. not that i would apply the lemon law myself when out on dates. i would have probably gone through with the date still and be every bit of a gentleman (i.e. be courteous, be funny, laugh with her, pay the bill, accompany her home). but if you think about it, the lemon law would save you (and most likely your date) time of just going through the motions.

so, i would like to amend the lemon law a bit. the lemon law can only be applied on select cases: blind dates or with someone who you just met a couple of minutes before or with someone who is outwardly rude.

at the end of the day, if going through on a date might not be of your best interest, you might still come away with a friend in him/her. if he/she persists after that date? then tell him/her the lemon law!