if only...

there is this one movie, if only, whom all the women that i knew watched it all said they loved it. so naturally, i was curious.

then by some sheer luck i was able to watch half of it, the last half, so i basically knew how it ended. however, there is something about this movie and all the fuss about it. so when i got home rather early (10pm on a weekday, hahaha, did i say early?), i got this idea to watch it on dvd. and i did.

it got me thinking... what if we could really have one day to live? a rather morbid thought right? but really, what if there was a possibility that the last sleep you will get on a particular day would be your last? how would you go through the previous hours of the day?

for me, ill get up early and go to the 6am mass. i haven't really gone to a mass for some time now. ill open up my heart to Him and surrender all my fears, pains, and regrets. ill pray for forgiveness. ill pray for everybody dear to my heart and moreso for those whom have hurt me.

then ill go to a mcdonalds branch and buy my family breakfast. if its a work day and my brother and his wife would need to go to work early, ill just make them take the breakfast with them to the office. ill eat my own breakfast with my mom and my dad and my aunt.

then ill call in sick and skip work. after all, nobody in his deathbed would say, "i wish i had a little more time at work!"

its still morning so ill stay at home and play with my niece jenna. ill carry her to the park beside our house and we will go play on the swing. ill try to make her smile always and for every little smile i get from her ill wish for more times like this.

if it becomes to hot outside, ill take jenna back to the house. ill ask my aunt to stay and not go back yet to our other house. we'll watch a video of her own choice. my aunt (my mom's sister) has always been there for me so ill spend this time with her.

when my mom and my dad will leave for work just before noon, ill wish them safety on their way before planting a kiss on my mom's cheeks. ill wave from the gate while their car leaves.

then ill call dennis and ask him not to take lunch yet and wait for me at adb. ill coerce him to treat me for lunch at ADB's wonderful restaurant. and while eating a late lunch, we will talk about his wife haydee and the kids; ise, biboy, and obie. ill especially ask him to tell my godson biboy that his ninong jonas will always be there for him no matter what.

after the lunch at ADB, ill drop by NEDA and ask darwin to have a yosi break with me. ill talk to him about his girlfriend monika and their kid. ill tell him to take care of his passions; his music, his writings, and his extended family.

off to the abs-cbn offices i will be to look for cecilio. ill watch from the sidelines while understanding how a technical director goes about his work. after a while, ill take him aside and tell him to take care of "inay." ill also ask him to try and move on from the past. he now has a good girl friend in essel who really want to be with him.

then ill take a cab to PUP and drop by mylo's office. ill ask him to look for all 4 of his daughters and his wife malyn with much more fervor. ill thank him for being a part of our barkada even when he only came in during college days when the rest of us were together since high school.

ill go straight to n. reyes hospital after and look for bong. if i catch him to not be operating on anybody, ill ask him to accompany me on the hospital canteen. we'll talk about what he really wants in life. ill ask him to be descerning of what he really feels about the girls he is seeing and just be with the one he has true feelings for.

then ill go to the philippine star office and talk to edjun. ill tell him to keep on doing everything and anything for him and his wife joann and their baby daughter arwen, my goddaughter.

by this time, it might be sundown. ill stop by somewhere and just watch as the sun sets. the majestic view of the sunset has always had a profound effect in me. ill watch it and just enjoy the beauty of the world, no matter where i am.

my last stop would be in atlas-copco on south-super highway. ill speak to abet and say sorry if i may have hurt him on my last email about him possibly choosing to go out more with his officemates than us, his barkada. i now know that is not the case. ill then ask him to continue inspiring my godson verosh to strive well at school. this kid really has promise. ill also ask him to continue to be a good provider for richelle and their other kid, dusk.

on the cab ride home, ill call my bestfriend jay and his wife mavee in japan. ill express my deepest gratitude to both of them for always being there for me even when they are miles and miles away. ill tell them not to lose hope and continue to pray for that baby to come soon for them.

since it is a long ride home, ill also call my best lady friend and the only woman in the barkada, maris, and tell her i really do appreciate her being like a sister to me. ill then wish her to have courage to do the one thing she really wants to do. its not only for her but for her daughter caile.

reaching home, ill ask my brothers dj and joffe, joffe's wife caye and their baby jenna, my aunt and my uncle (both siblings of my mom) to dress up and we will go out for dinner. ill call my mom and dad to meet us at via mare in the tectite tower. there, we will all eat dinner together amidst the view of the metropolis.

it may be around 11pm when we get back home. ill go to my room and call richelle, abet's wife, and ask for marianne's new mobile number. ill then call her and ask that she hear me out. ill tell her that it doesn't matter now that we still weren't able to talk about why we broke up. im just glad i have gotten the chance to be with her and experience for the first time what true love is. ill thank her for that chance.

after talking to marianne, ill go out of the room and into my brother's room. ill kiss baby jenna goodnight.

the day is ending and i now lay in bed. i take my mobile phone one last time and dial the number of the one other woman whom i had true feelings for. ill not be overly poetic or dramatic for that matter. ill just tell her what my heart truly feels for one last time... that short, that simple.

ill end my day with a prayer that somehow a miracle might come along and give me one more day. ill then live that new day with the same fervor and meaning i had as this last one.

my eyes will close and ill doze into slumber... for now... or for a lifetime. however which way it goes, i will know that i lived my life with no regrets.