the brothers

inspired by the last video i watched, the brothers, which was about a group of friends that are forever identified with one another.

here is my own set of friends, my barkada, brothers... the pictures says it all.

*cecilio, myself, dennis, abet, and jay; gathering at my house, april 2005

*dennis, edjun, darwin, myself, and jay; gathering at jay's house, 2004

*dennis, myself, joel, darwin, jay, edjun (foreground) and cecilio (foreground) with joanne (edjun's wife) and couple of lady friends

*the barkada on jay's wedding with wives, girlfriends, dates, kids, and friends

talking to oneself

you done it so many times before it starts to be mechanical... going through the motions...

yet you still do it because you like doing it. you have fun. you enjoy the time. hey, no strings attached right?!

yet this time around things are not quite that simple. you have questions on your own. you have concerns about the situation. yet you still go through it.

but alas, you enjoy the company you have. you go through one story after another and the time seemed to fly so fast. you both agree to cut the day short and quit while ahead. you both made plans again.

a second, and a third comes and goes. each time you learn something different. you learn how she thinks, how she perceives things, what she likes.

you also feel great that you went for the chance to get to know her better... and that she also gave you a chance to know her and for her to know you!

a fourth comes. this is unchartered territory. it was never really written in stone but you have come to acknowledge that some things needed to be approached like a cross-road. you go one direction or you go the other.

yet you still go through the fourth not mindful that it WAS the fourth. what you just know is that you are seeing her and spending time with her again. there was no cross-road, just a continuation of the road you are passing right now.

a fifth comes. it was short but eventful. you smile just thinking about what has happened so far. it was an adventure, an unmistakable unravelling of events. it has lead you to what you have in your lips now.

the little voice inside your head tells you to not let your guard down. you would have to agree with it.

but let me tell you now: if something makes you smile then you don't let anything take it away. for a genuine smile, a smile that comes from the heart, is the one thing that gives reason to our existence.

so the ball is on your turf now... do you have what it takes to go for something that could be special?

dating insights

inspired by the movie HITCH and by my own experiences, i'd like to provide my own insights on "dating."

1. to date (or go out with someone) is to know each other better -- that is the sole purpose of dating. you get to know her better and for her to get to know you. take it from that point.

2. dont ask her out on a date, just ask her to go out with you -- it may mean the same thing but the word "date," for some girls, may be associated as a precursor to courtship hence if she might then be wary of sending out signals. asking her out (for coffee, a few drinks, dinner), sends out the message that you just want to spend time with her, no strings attached.

3. only go out with someone you like -- this is the basic truth: no one goes out with someone they dont like. now, "like" may mean a whole lot of things but basically, you dont want to be seen in public with someone you dont really like right?! it can be liking as friend or something else, but the basic thought is that you are at ease to be seen with that person.

4. have the confidence to ask her out -- it will be more honest and spontaneous that way.

5. going out is to spend more time with her -- can be as simple as having coffee or couple of drinks together

5. only go out with one girl at a time -- you may date her only once or 20 times but during the course of that time, it doesn't make sense to jump ship especially if you bear in mind the initial thought that dating is to know each other better.

6. have a plan but ask her what she likes to do -- when out, you should do something you both want to do. this is where the plan comes in. however, giving her the option to change the plan you have in mind will allow her to get more into the date.

7. don't take yourself too seriously -- enjoy the night! be there, be in the moment. don't go running how you two could spend your lifetimes together in your head. always put humor in the conversations.

8. be yourself -- putting your best foot forward is not always good. remember, she will probably know who you really are sometime soon. but don't go overboard and act as you might be when you are with your drinking buddies.

9. listen -- ... to what she says and most importantly, to what she is not saying. facial expressions, gestures, body movements, are all messages she is sending out. so you need to pay attention, you need to listen.

10. always take the bill and pay -- she might offer to split the bill but don't let her. i don't care what poeple say that it is so traditional. it is the right thing to do.


having all these insights doesn't really mean i am an expert on dating. in fact im far from it. but really, there is no real fine print on what to do and what not to do on a date. its up to you and the person you went out with and how you could build the chemistry between the two of you.