reminiscing
there is something about reminiscing about the past that could be either wonderful or disheartening.
we can't help but reminisce, especially if that particular moment is so wonderfully woven on our memory that you know references to it will always bring you a smile.
but at the same time, it can be disheartening. it can open old wounds. wounds that you may have come to know now, haven't really healed yet.
yet when you do reminisce, there is a special glow in your eyes as you pick that particular moment from your memory. you start to talk about it as if it only happened yesterday. the bits and pieces are detailed as you remember how it happened, where it happened, why it happened.
but then in the middle of opening up, you became aware that you may have just opened pandora's box. you feel like you stirred up a wave of emotions that time has helped you control. you start to question why you went the road of the past once again...
...because you realize that it would only just bring you pain. because it hurts still.
a flurry of what if's, what could have been's besieged you. what if you went for your instincts instead of holding back. what could have been if you both risked finding out something for the both of you further.
and now, days after, you still feel the added burden on your chest. you thought you are 100% over it when what you feel tells you otherwise. you have opened your heart to another but a short time of reminiscing brought you back thoughts of someone you had to let go... and let go because she wasn't yours in the first place.
walking away from your past and not looking back was something everybody believes should be the norm. yet, looking back, reminiscing, will set you back to the realization that unless you place your whole essence on what you have right now and what's infront of you, you will forever be chained in the prison of what if's and what could have been's.
we can't help but reminisce, especially if that particular moment is so wonderfully woven on our memory that you know references to it will always bring you a smile.
but at the same time, it can be disheartening. it can open old wounds. wounds that you may have come to know now, haven't really healed yet.
yet when you do reminisce, there is a special glow in your eyes as you pick that particular moment from your memory. you start to talk about it as if it only happened yesterday. the bits and pieces are detailed as you remember how it happened, where it happened, why it happened.
but then in the middle of opening up, you became aware that you may have just opened pandora's box. you feel like you stirred up a wave of emotions that time has helped you control. you start to question why you went the road of the past once again...
...because you realize that it would only just bring you pain. because it hurts still.
a flurry of what if's, what could have been's besieged you. what if you went for your instincts instead of holding back. what could have been if you both risked finding out something for the both of you further.
and now, days after, you still feel the added burden on your chest. you thought you are 100% over it when what you feel tells you otherwise. you have opened your heart to another but a short time of reminiscing brought you back thoughts of someone you had to let go... and let go because she wasn't yours in the first place.
walking away from your past and not looking back was something everybody believes should be the norm. yet, looking back, reminiscing, will set you back to the realization that unless you place your whole essence on what you have right now and what's infront of you, you will forever be chained in the prison of what if's and what could have been's.
posted by jones at 1:42 PM
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