happiness

"i want you to be happy." simple words that somehow has become cliche as it is being said by almost everybody... but who among these "everybody" mean every word of it?

i mentioned this to someone special before. i meant it. after all she has gone through, she deserves to be happy. but deep inside, there hid a plea: let me be the one to make you happy. circumstance however prevented me from even hinting it. not willing to tempt fate and risk ruining what was a simple but comfortable set up between us, i held back.

but fate may have other designs... it may be great for someone but cruel to others. fate brought forth a question that begs an answer from me: do i really meant it when i said i want her to be happy?

fate brought her someone that fit like a glove to a hand. someone who made her heart flutter. someone who has brought that smile back on her face.

she likes him. if you could just see that look in her eyes or hear the excitement on her voice while she tells stories about him, you knew it was the real thing.

she likes him very, very much.

yet one part of me was thankful for this turn of events. i could just remember the first time we talked about him. it marked the first time (in a long, long while) that we had an extended conversation again. it came after a long period of feeling out, a period that was preceeded by an unfortunate misunderstanding between us. during this time, we are just going through the motions when we (or with other friends) are together.

but then he came and somehow we became close again. we could talk and confer to each other again. we became friends again.

but the other part of me was being questioned about the veracity of what i said about wanting her to be happy. do i really want her to be happy even if it means that happiness is being given by someone else?

the answer, with a bit of pinch in my heart, is yes, i am happy for her.

makes me remember something from the movie hitch:

"you know what it feels like? feeling helpless, that the love of your life is waking up with somebody else? but at the same time, wishing her happiness, even though its not going to be with you??"

i am happy for her. maybe, i can find solace in the fact that the person i wished and prayed happiness for has really found that one person who could make her happy.